LAST PROGRAM – May 24, 2005
Bonnie Buxton – “Healthy Beginnings” – Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Education

Brian Philcox was delighted to introduce his wife, Bonnie Buxton, whom he has known since they were in their late 20’s. She is an award winning journalist, has worked on a television news show and was a travel editor for Chatelaine magazine. As well, she composes many free lance articles for various publications.

Bonnie wrote an article for the Elm Street magazine in 1998 called “Society’s Child” and this particular item caused the most mail that Elm Street had ever recalled. She has also written a book called, “Damaged Angels.”

On a personal note, Bonnie is an adoptive parent of two girls and Brian described her as a very nuturing mother. Now she is recovering from cancer, raising two grandchildren and has published a book, which is receiving very good reviews.

With that, Brian welcomed the stand, his best friend, Bonnie Buxton.

Bonnie told us all that Brian is the best and he has put up with a lot in the past few years. He has been a tower of strength while she was ill and took on the task of raising young children. She also confesses that he is a great Rotarian and with all that, Brian got a great big kiss!

Bonnie said that she felt comfortable with us, as it is like being with family, as Brian has been a member since 1999 and she is involved with the Inner Wheel.

She has been working hard on revising her Canadian book to be an American edition and as we were puzzled by that, Bonnie explained that she has taken out words like parka, touque and Shreddies. She took some time to thank us for all the gifts and flowers. She is proud to be part of the Inner Wheel as it supports a “Breaking the Cycle” charity. The United Way is very keen on this particular facet and is sending Margaret Leslie to speak at the Inner Wheel conference in September about her hopeful work with women and children at risk.

Bonnie and Brian adopted Collette and she was a very bright little girl. However, she couldn’t read and started stealing. They took her to many therapists and admitted to them that Collette’s birth parents were alcoholics. However, the medical community all felt that Brian and Bonnie should improve their parenting skills. By the time Collette was 17, she was addicted to crack cocaine and living on the streets.

In 1997, Bonnie was watching a television show called “The Journal” about fetal alcohol syndrome and immediately recognized that the symptoms that these victims had, were the same as Collette’s. She learned that there are two types of FAS people. One has a small head with wide set eyes and is generally small in build and the other looks normal, but their brain just does not work normally.

Bonnie explained that there is absolutely no safe time in a pregnancy to drink and there is no treatment to correct any damage.

FAS people have difficulty with emotions, reasoning, organizing, predicting consequences and have poor memories. Since they do not learn from their previous experiences, they will often do unacceptable things over and over. This admittedly often makes the parents frustrated. More often than not, they have addiction problems.

It is believed that about 3% - 4% of Canadians have fetal alcohol syndrome, which puts 100,000 in Ontario and 35,000 in Toronto. A lot of them drop out of school and are often diagnosed with mental illness. A sad fact is that a lot of these people have four to five children by the time they are 21 years old. Unfortunately, they are lacking in parenting skills.

Collette had two children with her boyfriend, who has a worse case of FAS than Collette. Kenny was born in 1999 and Vickie came along 18 months later. Bonnie feels relief that Collette had a tubal ligation after Vickie.

As is often the case, grandparents end up raising the children and Bonnie admitted that her grandchildren are now the third generation of children not being raised by their parents. Some have been in 65 foster homes by age 16. Bonnie made us understand how sad it would be not to have anyone ever light up when you enter a room and not feel loved.

When Collette and her boyfriend broke up two years ago, Collette could not cope with the care of her kids, so Bonnie and Brian decided to give parenting a second try. Kenny and Vickie see their mother often and care about her.

Bonnie estimates it costs society approximately $2M in a lifetime for each FASD. There are other effects too, such as children being bullied, burglaries, homelessness, etc.

Bonnie and Brian are emphatic that Rotary International can help. Their desire is that after the war on polio is over, that Rotary should take on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome as their own worthy cause.